PERSEVERANCE.   The hard work we do, after we are exhausted from all of the hard work we’ve already done.  Many trips around the sun have been journeyed since hearing that definition. It became one i aspired to. A term i wanted to be known for.  A life motto. A reference literally tattooed on my body. This momma on a special needs journey so hard, it built an endurance most are in awe of.  A character trait not obtained any other way. Only by trudging through this muddy path. One pain staking, messy step at a time.  A strength many want to be gifted – and often claim. Without traveling the long, hard road themselves. 

Yet PERSEVERE i did! For years.  Continuing on.  No matter the obstacles satan threw my way.  In an attempt to veer me off course. To distract me. The never-ending bad news about my child’s health. My own health challenges. Being in one hospital myself, while my child was in another. Twice. Because once, surely would not have been enough.  Trying desperately to ensure each of my children had the attention and care they needed – and often failing…. Then an unexpected turn in the road. A curve so sharp, it’s location not even noticed. That is, until i felt the pebbles slip beneath my feet. Hearing them spill over the edge of a dangerous cliff. My footing, most definitely not secure. This complete change in direction, a reality gained through severe trauma few will ever realize. And the depth of which – impossible to grasp without experiencing firsthand. My children and i struggled to stand. To once again take another step.  But PERSEVERANCE – the ability to never give up – our battle cry.  Our motto on this ridiculously hard road. A life we learned to call our own. Bootstraps pulled up.  We move forward. And the new direction? We would travel it together.  

Pressing on. But worn. PERSEVERING. Yet fading. Eventually to a point my old self is no longer recognizable. Most assume the longer this road is walked, the easier it becomes………. But those who are also on a parallel road, know the opposite to be true. For there is no finish line. No downhill sections to regain our breath. The climb is steep. The slopes are indeed slippery – and oftentimes, footing not secure. And this term PERSEVERANCE?  now one i never want to be associated with again. Ever.

But it was my misunderstanding about the word that made me want to give up. To sit down in the middle of the road and not move another inch forward.  Wanting with all that was in me to call for a cab. To escort me to a road more heavily traveled.   One much easier to bear. For the progress down the road thus far, was through a PERSEVERANCE i had built.  One obtained through my own strength – which certainly is a source that will eventually be used up.  Run out. Dry up. Not one ounce left to give.

It was then – sitting stoic in the middle of the road. Unable to move. Only then, Holy Spirit revelation could clearly be seen. Truth finally revealed.  PERSEVERANCE built by one’s own strength is only a cheap façade. One that will crumble – give out. No longer able to move forward. That is – unless it is founded on the strength of our Creator.  The Ultimate Holder of outcomes. The One who can be trusted to walk alongside us. Uphold us when we have no strength left to stand. HE is the ONE who will bear the weight. To carry the heavy burden. Should we just be willing to hand it over to Him. For when we PERSEVERE in our own strength, this road can only lead to complete and utter exhaustion. Eventual failure. No destination reached.  Nothing left to give. But thankfully, we serve a God whose PERSEVERANCE has no capacity. Whose resource is limitless. Able to be tapped into and always available.   

So join me. In getting my eyes back on Jesus.  Off of the distractions. Join me in trusting HIM with outcomes – even when it looks different than what i would choose. That what HE is allowing, will be used for my good. Let’s both take each step only after seeking Holy Spirit guidance.  To walk in a posture of thankfulness. Together, let us reach up and grab HIS Hand. Let Him pull us from the dirt. And be aware of the truth – i truly can PERSEVERE. When it is done in HIS strength. And that we can move forward on this muddy, holey, hard to travel, steep road together. Reaching our eventual destination. Wherever that may be. And while we wait for His perfect timing – for the prayer bowls to be completely filled, with the request of a miracle continually spilling from our lips – let us walk much lighter.  Looking to our right and seeing Jesus carrying the heavy burden.  On a journey that includes goodness and joy amidst the hard – if we will only be diligent to look for it along the way.

If you didn’t see it before, I hope you clearly see now.  We are in this together. 

Much Love, TyiaLynn