If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you have probably heard this verse: 

“Be still and know that I AM God.”  Psalms 46:10

While It does seem like a nice verse to dwell on, if i am being real, it just doesn’t seem to be realistic for a parent like me – and maybe for you.  Those of us with critically and chronically ill children never seem to have a moment to just “be still”.  Even times when we are forced to physically be still, there just is not emotional room for it.  Especially at a time when our whole country is in an upheaval.

Most everyone around us is at a high level of stress right now, but us parents of EXTRAordinary children are ten steps elevated in regard to stress with additional challenges. We also have hospital visits, homeschooling our children with different abilities, concern of medical supplies for our child being available, change in routine for kiddos that need it most, the list can go on and on….  So, this current situation begs the question, Does God KNOW how hard this all is??  Does He care? How can i simply “be still” at a time like this?

Two weeks ago, i ventured into the war zone.  My daughter had to be taken to the ER and was admitted for 11 days at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Up till that point, she was kept in isolation to protect her medically complex body from this virus sweeping our nation.  However, i had no choice but to expose her to all of the germs in an Emergency Department, countless hospital workers, doctors and nurses entering her room. In the midst of a pandemic, we were also dealing with a new diagnosis, wiped out immune system, and unbearable pain and nausea for my child.  

Through chaos, uncertainty and exhaustion, i could clearly hear this Bible verse being repeated over and over, “Be still and know that I AM God.” i am very thankful for the teachings of Pricilla Shirer that taught me “When God speaks, He does so persistently”.  So as i hear this verse on repeat throughout my days, i lean in.  i know God is calling me to be still, to draw closer to Him during this time instead of writhing through it.  But HOW??

Then this morning, God brought to mind the lesson i have been working on with my six-year-old. She struggles a lot with change because of past trauma and severe neglect as a baby.  Even though she has lived with us since she was two years old, her fear of abandonment is very real and there are times it can grip her completely.  When we moved to a new home this past December, that fear surfaced again and overtook her rational thought.  She was scared to be in any part of our home by herself and needed us by her side at ALL times.  The only way i know how to fight battles like this are with God’s Word and claiming truth.  i gave her a few Bible verses to choose from and she chose, “Perfect Love casts out fear” 1 John 4:18.  We hung it up in her room where she could see it every day. We read it together and prayed every time she felt fearful.  Many times, she would RUN to me once she realized i was no longer in the same room.  i would then ask her, “What is the truth about our home?”  she would reply, “It is safe, BUT, I don’t want to be without you!!”  Every time this happened, i would have her repeat this truth to me. Eventually, she stopped adding the BUT.

“What is the truth about our home?”

“It is safe.”

Truth, especially God’s Truth, has a way of combatting fear, quieting the lies, and stilling our hearts. 

Just as my 6-year-old believed a lie that our home was not safe, so i have believed the lie that God is not safe. You see, the reason i have not been able to simply “be still and know that He is God” is because i have not truly believed that God is capable of handling my child’s health. The lie stems from me not trusting God. Completely. Not believing that He is able to be trusted with outcomes.  When i try to control outcomes is when i cannot rest and just be still.  Does this mean that i stop fighting for the life of my child?  Absolutely not.  What it DOES mean is after i have done all i can do, i will surrender.  i will lay my child down at His Trustworthy Feet and trust her to His Care.  Even after sleepless nights from caring my child. Even in the midst of chaos.  Even from hospital rooms.  Even during a pandemic.  Even when i don’t see an end in sight.

As i gazed at the smooth steam extending far above my tea this morning, i was amazed at how stillness in the air created a sight i don’t remember seeing; because i have never been still enough to see it.  Constant motion creates steam with a very different effect.  So here is my challenge to all of us parents of EXTRAordinary children; let us be still in His Presence.  Even if just for a moment, to draw our strength from Him, to rest in His promises even when we don’t see a way.  Whatever lies are being thrown at you right now from the enemy, let us claim God’s Truth instead.  Speak it out loud.  Find a Bible verse with which to fight the battle.

Here’s the verse i have selected for this personal battle of mine:

“I remain confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”  Psalm 27:13  

Here is the truth i am claiming today, speaking out loud, to claim victory over the lies:

“God is safe and can be trusted with my child.”

Will you join me?

We are in this together,
Much Love, TyiaLnn