Never enough. Never enough time. Enough fun. Enough sleep. Enough laughter. Enough of me to go around; to accommodate the demands. Of my job. Of special needs. Of my other children. Of my spouse. Of my relationships.  Of ministering to others. Never quite enough of myself to give. One. More. Thing.  

Oh, to have the level of “never enough” that parents of typical children have…. If only i could lay in the lap of that luxury for just one moment. To not be concerned if my child will live another year, or another day. To not feel responsible for her life.  All the while attending to the needs of every other area of my life. Beyond exhausted. And of course, never enough.

This feeling of inadequacy – that lie i often believe – can become debilitating.  That is, if i allow it.  You see, it is my measure of accomplishment that determines if i am enough. Am i measuring up tangibly with goals reached? Boxes checked? Needs met? Relationships build?  or how well i loved?

These questions weigh heavy on my heart as responsibilities demand my attention. Pulling in every direction…. vying for a piece of me – every part of me. and there is just no more to give. Not one ounce left to pour out.

Am i enough?  Will i ever be enough? Can i do anything well, while spread so thin?  The answer is vehemently NO. and thankfully so.  For if i relied on my own abilities to succeed in this ridiculously hard life that i call my own, i (along with everyone else who relies on me) would be continually disappointed.

Thankfully, i have a Creator who is capable.  Who is MORE than enough; to uphold me through another day. To provide strength. Guidance. Wisdom. Whose lap i can crawl up in. Whom is the One i find my identity in. In how HE sees me – His priceless treasure. HE is the One who does NOT measure success as the world does.  Who doesn’t keep score. Who doesn’t care if some things were not accomplished today as i stayed at the hospital with my child.  If boxes weren’t checked.  If beds were made or meals were cooked from scratch. If an appointment was missed or a deadline needed extended.  For His Grace extends beyond my failures and wraps me in His Unconditional Love; providing rest for this weary heart.

So today, i will shift my focus off of not being enough, and fix my gaze on the One Who is enough for me. Will you join me?

If you didn’t see it before, i hope you clearly see now, we are in this together. 

Much Love,

TyiaLynn